sighning... ~~

Hahaha.. feels that lately my mood is just abit "sighning" all d day..

Well.. to be honest, i will say that now, I am at the direction to the "depression" state.

Actually, some of people already told me about how to make a breakthrough, such as I have to ask for a help from others people ( outside of my boss and lab member, since they are not doin this kind of experiment ).. such as the big bos of my faculty, my big boss students, another people who have done such an experiment ( included ones who already published many journal papers ), my neighbour ( who did this kind of experiment in his previous life ), and many kinds of people ( who seem like have an idea.. or so on.. ).

Apart from the idea problem, another problem is the insufficient facility in my lab.. So, in order to survive, I have to beg my big boss.. so that I can borrow their equipment ( just realize that the machine that I usually used.. have a approach, so don't know whether I can use or not.. ).. but.. the bitter story is that.. my big boss machine is always full booked! so.. when can I use that.... T-T
another opinion is to borrow the machine for the CBE prof, called WX, one said that he had a spare machine.. that maybe I can use... ( well.. need to tell my prof about that.. but i don't like meet her ).

But, also aparts from those problems... I have my own personal problem.. i don't know why.. it seems that i already lost my interest in this field, i don't care what happen anymore, i really2 don't care!! I just want to get out from this lab, and find my new life outside, other than doin research.
Some people told me that maybe I just in my depression state.. it seems that I have to get out for a while, out of this work.. I should take a refreshing.. and maybe someday, I will fell that I have many ideas to be realized, and I can find the proper method how to do the experiments.

Yeah.. I trully hope so.. because I also hate myself when I am in this kind of emotional state..
Somehow, I can't enjoy my life outside of my work. ( maybe because I already spend all of my energy procrasinating of my work ).. so when I come back, sometimes I will just keep idling in front of my computer..

*crap* based on my state now.. one wish that I want..
"I just want to quit and get out from this hell rite now"
=="